by Auntie

The Toilet Auntie at Bukit Gorblok Hawker Centre visits the Travel Fair to pick up bargains.

Yesterday my travel agent at Ken Brothers Reliant Air Travel call me and tell me I should go to the NATAS Travel Fair, because got a lot of good deals.

He say, now got recession, some more some travel agents all kam tiam, so must get rid of tickets.

I tell him, wah lau, don’ch talk cock, lah. NATAS spell backwards is SATAN, mah! How to believe?

At the last fair, I bought a package tour to Turkey and kena con! Because, hor, the whole bloody tour also got no turkey to eat! How can like that? At least the Iceland tour got plenty ice.

But he say, tolong-tolong, now business damn condemn, come and support a bit a bit.

So I see him small, go to the Travel Fair and looksee-looksee.

But everywhere like damn sian, like that.

Got one company try to sell me a spa package.

So I scold them, “Si gi nah! I look like a spas, meh? Try to sell me tour for spas people!” Nowsaday, people got no respect.

And then got another agent try to sell me a Nepal tour.

Piang eh! I look like some cheekopek, meh?

But I told them to go and find my neighbour Mr. Lim Peh instead.

When he go on tour, hor, he only look for nepals, one.

The most wurf deals are to America, but then there now got a lot of terrorists. Not good.

Anyway, here also got plenty terrorists, so why waste money to go there and see?

I look, look, look, but like nothing very the interesting like that.

Then I went to my travel agent’s booth. When he saw me that time, he say, “Auntie! I got the perfect tour for you! Very cheap!”

Then he show me a package for Afghanistan: 7D5N, Kandahar, Kabul and Konduz.

I say, “This place where one, ha? I ne’er go before.”

He say, “There very esciting, one. Every night got fireworks.”

But I like not sure like that.

“Eh, Auntie,” he say. “Some more, there the man all very macho one, leh. You sure like! All, hwah, hairy-hairy one.”

I scold him, “Si gin nah! Why I want man to be like kiwifruit like that?”

Then he say, “Aiyah, neh’mine, lah. Go, lah! This time special for you. If you go, I give you free Ken Bros. Reliant Air Travel bag, with free airplane socks some more!”

Hwah! Like that is on, lah!